More people experience this than you may think, myself included--not so much anymore but in earlier parts of my journey and for many years, it was the main thing holding me back and a major part of my self identity.
Often expressed as:
A feeling of incompetency at something you are actually really proficient and amazing at
Feeling like a "fraud" in your line of work
Unbalanced over-humility/modesty (the equally unhealthy opposite of an inflated ego, overconfidence, and arrogance)
Crippling self doubt and a loud inner critic that causes you to devalue yourself and prevents taking action on your goals and aspirations
I've found for myself that sometimes imposter syndrome served an important role and medicine by highlighting ways I was truly out of integrity or layers of unresolved personal shadow and trauma, and other times was something appropriate to shift out of and transform, and kept me stuck in destructive and un-serving mental loops and from embodying what I knew deeply on a soul level I'm on this planet for.
Can you relate? Rose gave me a tool for the time I really struggled in this way that I wanted to share for whoever it might help. I made a physical printed binder of beautiful messages and testimonials received from clients over the years by category of the work I do, kept it in a place I would see it often, and spent some time reading it and connecting to the memory of the work with that client and how it felt.
For me this was not bypassing whatever unworthiness etc I may have felt at the time, but an instant shift and expansion of perspective that helped me to reconnect to my inspiration and passion and examine the source of whatever I was feeling without being so consumed by it. What do you do when you find yourself in this space?
Due to my childhood and grade-school experiences, I have always been more on the deflated side of the ego spectrum. Ayahuasca helped me to transform the inflated parts of my ego and brought humility to that aspect of my shadow, but it was my work with Rose that has been the biggest help in overcoming imposter syndrome and gently transforming the layers of trauma that were the root of it.
Rose helped me to begin the process of accepting the unique approach to my work, and to see the differences between the way I do things compared to most in my field as my greatest strength and medicine, rather than being something "wrong" or "going against the norm".
She helped me to find a deep sense of inner/self validation and overcome my long standing tendency to negatively compare myself to others. As a result my work has naturally flourished, deepened, and expanded in ways I never could have imagined, and the level of resonance with my clients over the last several months has left me in awe!
I am feeling a special alignment in the near future to work with those of you navigating this exact process, that desire to step more fully into your gifts and offerings through embracing your authentic voice and unique magic that has come as the fruit of the path you have walked and what you have navigate and survived in your personal journey. Rose is a powerful medicine for stepping into the highest timeline of your offerings, and revealing and transforming whatever exists between this authentic expression of your medicine and what you are currently embodying.
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